11 Things No One Tells You About Becoming a Child & Youth Care Worker

Becoming a child and youth care (CYC) worker is one of the most challenging and rewarding careers you can choose. The work is deeply emotional, often messy, and rarely straightforward. Here are 11 hard truths about the job that no one really tells you before you step into it.

1. You’ll Have to Give Bad News

Delivering bad news is part of the job, and it’s never easy. Children in care have often faced constant instability, moving from placement to placement, struggling in school, and feeling like they "lose at everything." Maintaining trust while delivering these harsh realities is challenging. If you’re good at your job, you’ll build meaningful connections; if not, you risk becoming just another part of the system. Either way, it will be emotionally taxing.

2. You Will Sit With a Child Thinking About Suicide

Every child in care carries some weight of trauma, and sometimes that includes thoughts of suicide. One worker once told me there are two types of youth workers: those who have sat with a suicidal child, and those who eventually will. It’s one of the hardest parts of the job.

3. You’ll Absorb Pain That Was Never Yours

The children you work with have lived experiences full of hurt, disappointment, and neglect. You’ll find yourself carrying some of that pain, even though it’s not your own, and learning to process it without letting it overwhelm you is a critical skill.

4. You’ll Sometimes Feel Like an Imposter

Witnessing the complexity of children’s lives, the trauma, systemic barriers, and inequities, can leave you feeling inadequate. You’ll realize how privileged your own life may have been and how much you may have taken for granted. Feeling like an imposter at times is normal; it means you’re aware of the depth of what these children face.

5. You’ll Have to Be the Calm in the Chaos

Children in care often live with chaos, pain, and instability. Part of your role is being the calm presence in the storm, the consistent, grounding force they can rely on when everything else is unpredictable.

6. You’ll Lose Touch With Many Children

Not every child you connect with will stay in your life. Children move on, systems shift, and your work may go unnoticed. What they often don’t remember are the specific things you did, but they will remember how you made them feel. Acts of kindness and advocacy leave lasting impressions, especially for children who are often treated poorly.

7. You Could Be the Reason a Child Chooses to Carry On

Sometimes, your presence and support can be the difference between hope and despair for a child. The responsibility is enormous, but it’s also one of the most profound opportunities of the role.

8. You’ll Have to Prioritize Children Over Rules

Policies, points systems, behavior modification programs, and organizational procedures are important, but they don’t matter as much as the child in front of you. There will be times when you must put the child’s well-being above all else, even if it conflicts with rules or theory.

9. Trust Is Critical and Fragile

For children in care, trust is not given lightly, it is earned. And it can be lost in an instant. Building and maintaining that trust is both challenging and essential to your role.

10. You’ll Be Remembered for How You Made Them Feel

It’s easy to get caught up in tasks, rules, and programs. But children remember emotions and experiences far more than actions or policies. How you made them feel, safe, seen, valued, will leave a lasting mark.

11. It Will Be Hard, But Worth It

Child and youth care work is emotionally demanding, complex, and sometimes heartbreaking. But the impact you can have on a child’s life is profound. Even small moments of connection, kindness, or advocacy can ripple outward in ways you’ll never fully know.

#mentoring